Scott Kamps
Family gatherings at Christmas are natural, right and good. J.C. Ryle (1816-1900) described them as “one of the very few pleasant things that have survived the fall of man.”
He further explains, “Next to the grace of God, I see no principle which unites people so much in this sinful world as family feeling.”
Indeed, in a culture that’s divided and polarized as ours is, the deep bonds of family can be a breath of fresh air.
Family really is one of life’s greatest blessings; most of us recognize the value of belonging in a family. In a world of isolation/loneliness, it’s great to love and be loved.
Karl Marx was wrong on the big questions of life/society, but he was right in assessing the “acids of modernity.” Part of what he referred to was how modernity led to the disruption of traditional communal bonds (consider urbanization and mobility). Family gatherings at Christmas bring us back to the reality of God’s good gift of family.
Isn’t this what many Christmas stories are all about (“It’s a Wonderful Life,” “Elf,” or “Die Hard”)?
Christmas gatherings are reminders that we’re not as atomized and independent as we think we are; we have connections and roots that transcend us; we’re part of something bigger than just us and can feel connection, even to people we’ve never met.
I recently returned to my birthplace to see family, enjoying an early Christmas gathering/meal. While in the area, we visited Grandma Jenkins (my last living grandparent). She told us many stories about our forbearers, many of whom we didn’t even know. She recounted her grandfather who came from England and ended up a lumberjack in Mississippi shortly after the Civil War. At one point, he was teased relentlessly in a public setting about being the only man not married; he finally exclaimed that he was going to marry the next pretty girl who came through the door.
When my future great-great grandma walked in shortly after, let’s just say my genetics were a step closer to fruition. My kids – especially my four boys – loved hearing about one of their ancestors being a lumberjack and getting wifed in such a manly way!
My grandma described their son Leo (her dad) as the only constant in her often-tumultuous life. When she was a young girl, after my grandma’s mother left them, he’d come home after work, make supper for her and her sister, get them ready for bed and rock them to sleep. Since there wasn’t much entertainment at the time, he’d sing silly songs like “Popeye the Sailor Man” to his girls in the evenings. Imagine a world with no technology to babysit children/grandchildren!
My grandma recounts her father as a funny man; after remarrying, he’d hide his false teeth on the Christmas tree every year for his wife to find.
I don’t know what Christmas traditions you have among your kin; but whatever they are, cherish your time with family this Christmas season.
Scott Kamps writes a bi-weekly column for The Graham Star. He can be reached via email, thestableguy@frontier.com.