Kevin Hensley
The job was simple: pick up the sales box and move it to another location.
Little did I know the mystery I would stumble upon once I arrived at my destination.
Sadly, Scooby and the gang could not help me solve the whodunit before the 30-minute television block concluded. No security cameras were pointed in the direction of the incident, and I departed in our company van with a sales box – sans most of the front glass, which had been shattered by an unknown assailant some two weeks before pickup.
There's something dishonorable about people who want to want to break the honor system. Maybe it's the thrill of dropping six quarters into the box and gaining access to our weekly publication, only to find that no one can stop you from grabbing 1-2 extra copies; after all, who's keeping count? (Well, we do). Maybe it's the justification someone feels because years ago, The Graham Star printed an arrest report including your second-cousin, third-removed, so it seems acceptable to swipe a few newspapers in retaliation.
However, the random attacks on our newspaper boxes must stop. The madness is simply out of control. Not only has a rack been stolen from outside the Almond Post Office since I started working here, but the March 20 box-office shattering discovery was not the first; the glass has been kicked out of Star boxes five times.
What gets into people? Do they walk by a box, suddenly hear "Kung Fu Fighting" in their head and decide to see if their kicks are, in fact, as fast as lightning? Do they stay up late the night before watching Edson Barboza’s spinning head kick in the UFC on YouTube (Google it) and think, "Gotta try it?"
All kidding aside, Plexiglass is not cheap – and neither is a misdemeanor charge of injury to real property, which carries a maximum penalty of 60 days in jail and a $1,000 fine.
For those of you who can restrain yourself from delivering a 1-2 combo to our outdoor sales racks, we appreciate your continued support of The Star.
Kevin Hensley is the publisher/editor of The Graham Star. Since he knows the song mentioned above is now playing in your head, send your hate mail to editor@grahamstar.com; or drop him a message on X, @KevinHensleyCNI.